Katie- I did a writing group with you back in May and have loved reading your words here on Substack.
I wanted to share that I grew up with a younger brother with autism. I am 33 now and he is 30. I remember waking up to The Yell and feeling embarrassed in public. But mostly- I remember how impactful smiles and nods from strangers were, how I watched my mom and dad have supernatural patience through the screaming and hitting and biting (even if they broke down later behind closed doors)- still to this day I marvel at the strength of our family. Of course I remember some of the harder parts of those days, but it is far surpassed by a feeling of thankfulness for the way I learned patience, compassion and the value of inclusion. I remember all the things my brother taught us that we would have never learned otherwise. I could go on, but I’ll wrap it up with this- today my brother, Adam, is an uncle to 2 little girls and he makes them laugh and giggle constantly. His face lights up when he sees them. He takes his dog on walks. He sells tickets and helps at the concessions at every single sporting event at our local high school. It definitely is not easy being “the sibling”- but I wouldn’t have changed it, it has 100% made me a better person who sees others much more clearly, and knows the value of leaning on a Spirit of peace that surpasses understanding. ❤️❤️❤️
I cried my way through this. We have 4 kids and we adopted our youngest. He has Down syndrome and while he has brought more joy and love than I ever thought possible, there are also hard moments. Moments we get the looks in Costco, moments where people move tables in a restaurant to get away from the noise he makes. Sometimes I carry guilt over what it’s doing to my other boys. However, I see the compassion that is growing in their hearts, the way they adore their little brother even with all his “quirks” and needs and I pray that compassion, empathy and kindness are qualities taking root in them and not bitterness.
I needed this today. My little one is on the spectrum and I felt this essay as a parent to neurotypical and neurodiverse kiddos....I wonder the same thing you do. You’re doing a great job, Katie. Your essays reach farther than you know.
Oof that's such wisdom right there. I also tend to wait around for the stage where life is easier. God never promised easy! But he did promise to always give us what we need to get through it. Thanks for reminding me of this today!
This was beautifully written. Thank you for your vulnerability. The quote about how nothing in life gets easier really speaks to where I am. You truly just learn to just handle life better.
Love this. I’ll be leaning on “Hey, you are doing a very good job at a very hard thing. I love you.” for myself, my husband and my kids during what we all know is going to be a big (hard) transition.
Fellow mom of 6 here - I wonder all the time how my kids will remember their childhood as the siblings of a brother with severe trauma behaviors and a laundry list of mental health diagnoses. On my more optimistic days, I pray they grow rich in compassion as we all learn how to handle hard better. Thank you for these very poignant words Katie.
Incredible. I love this--your honesty at not being able to control the outcome, but modeling radical compassion instead. And I especially love what you say to your kiddos at the end. I love that you call them "team", and I love how you show them they are *seen* in just a single sentence during an everyday moment.
Such beautiful words. Grateful for your writing - each piece of yours leaves me challenged and hopeful at the same time. I've asked myself a lot lately "When is it going to get easier?" and then retract that because "it could be harder". But that doesn't negate the fact that yes, life is hard and hard for everyone in different ways. I appreciate the honesty of your hard and giving us just a glimpse into it!
Katie, this line stopped me in my tracks... “It doesn’t get easier. Nothing in life gets easier. But you learn to handle hard better.” This is so true but at the same time I don't want to believe it. With babies, you see the light at the end of the tunnel once they are sleeping and soon become more self sufficient with time. Then it seems to get hard again with big emotions and hard questions. I feel more equipped each and every year as a mom, but I would by lying if I didn't ask at times for it to get easier.
Katie- I did a writing group with you back in May and have loved reading your words here on Substack.
I wanted to share that I grew up with a younger brother with autism. I am 33 now and he is 30. I remember waking up to The Yell and feeling embarrassed in public. But mostly- I remember how impactful smiles and nods from strangers were, how I watched my mom and dad have supernatural patience through the screaming and hitting and biting (even if they broke down later behind closed doors)- still to this day I marvel at the strength of our family. Of course I remember some of the harder parts of those days, but it is far surpassed by a feeling of thankfulness for the way I learned patience, compassion and the value of inclusion. I remember all the things my brother taught us that we would have never learned otherwise. I could go on, but I’ll wrap it up with this- today my brother, Adam, is an uncle to 2 little girls and he makes them laugh and giggle constantly. His face lights up when he sees them. He takes his dog on walks. He sells tickets and helps at the concessions at every single sporting event at our local high school. It definitely is not easy being “the sibling”- but I wouldn’t have changed it, it has 100% made me a better person who sees others much more clearly, and knows the value of leaning on a Spirit of peace that surpasses understanding. ❤️❤️❤️
Well this is just the most encouraging thing ever, Kayla. Thank you so much!
I cried my way through this. We have 4 kids and we adopted our youngest. He has Down syndrome and while he has brought more joy and love than I ever thought possible, there are also hard moments. Moments we get the looks in Costco, moments where people move tables in a restaurant to get away from the noise he makes. Sometimes I carry guilt over what it’s doing to my other boys. However, I see the compassion that is growing in their hearts, the way they adore their little brother even with all his “quirks” and needs and I pray that compassion, empathy and kindness are qualities taking root in them and not bitterness.
Thank you for sharing this, Megan! You guys are living for the kingdom and your boys are watching it 💛 so much love and prayer to you!
I needed this today. My little one is on the spectrum and I felt this essay as a parent to neurotypical and neurodiverse kiddos....I wonder the same thing you do. You’re doing a great job, Katie. Your essays reach farther than you know.
Thank you so much for this encouragement!
Oof that's such wisdom right there. I also tend to wait around for the stage where life is easier. God never promised easy! But he did promise to always give us what we need to get through it. Thanks for reminding me of this today!
Thanks for reading, Kym!
Wow, just wow! Excellent
You’re teaching me to handle hard better too, my friend.
xoxox.
Thank you Katie 😭😭😭
Beautiful storytelling, beautiful heart. ❤️
Thank you, friend!
This was beautifully written. Thank you for your vulnerability. The quote about how nothing in life gets easier really speaks to where I am. You truly just learn to just handle life better.
Thanks for reading, Michelle!
Thank you for these words Katie.
Love this. I’ll be leaning on “Hey, you are doing a very good job at a very hard thing. I love you.” for myself, my husband and my kids during what we all know is going to be a big (hard) transition.
You all are going to be amazing, even in the hard. Love you, Lains.
Love this so much.
Fellow mom of 6 here - I wonder all the time how my kids will remember their childhood as the siblings of a brother with severe trauma behaviors and a laundry list of mental health diagnoses. On my more optimistic days, I pray they grow rich in compassion as we all learn how to handle hard better. Thank you for these very poignant words Katie.
Incredible. I love this--your honesty at not being able to control the outcome, but modeling radical compassion instead. And I especially love what you say to your kiddos at the end. I love that you call them "team", and I love how you show them they are *seen* in just a single sentence during an everyday moment.
This is really kind, Krista, thank you!
Such beautiful words. Grateful for your writing - each piece of yours leaves me challenged and hopeful at the same time. I've asked myself a lot lately "When is it going to get easier?" and then retract that because "it could be harder". But that doesn't negate the fact that yes, life is hard and hard for everyone in different ways. I appreciate the honesty of your hard and giving us just a glimpse into it!
Thanks for reading, Sara 💛
Katie, this line stopped me in my tracks... “It doesn’t get easier. Nothing in life gets easier. But you learn to handle hard better.” This is so true but at the same time I don't want to believe it. With babies, you see the light at the end of the tunnel once they are sleeping and soon become more self sufficient with time. Then it seems to get hard again with big emotions and hard questions. I feel more equipped each and every year as a mom, but I would by lying if I didn't ask at times for it to get easier.