"You do know how that happens, right?"

First, that's rude and unoriginal. And second, yes I do.

Ah, yes. That. By that, I’m assuming you mean my children, yes? Ok, good, just want to be sure we are on the same page. But yes, I do know how “that” happens and I suppose the politeness I was raised with demands me to say something like, “I appreciate you asking” even though I’m not sure I do. But you see, I was given a thorough sex education both in my home by engaged and involved parents and at school by prudent teachers during my formative years, and it’s been very clear to me what it takes for “that” to happen for quite some time. 

Perhaps I am being presumptuous, but what I think you are really wanting to know is more along the lines of “why would you allow ‘that’ to happen as much as you did?” You likely have a lot of questions about us for having six children, given the state of humanity and inflation and global warming and the long list of terrible things happening everyday and all of that. I get it. This motley crew of ours walks through the world making too much noise and costing too much money and generally being an outlier everywhere we go. In fact, only 9.5% of families in the United States have more than four people in them. We have eight, which puts us somewhere in the less than 0.5% category. There are never tables big enough for us at restaurants (not that we can afford them) and we drive around a vehicle that has twice been mistaken for an airport shuttle.  

But I digress. 

To the heart of your question: Why do we have so many of “that”?

Well, here’s how the math worked: we thought we wanted three, maybe four. Still a good size family by many standards. But then a teeny tiny little baby girl needed a home and we ended up adopting her. Next, the little surgery that was supposed to end my husband’s chances of his biological role in more children ended up being a bust exactly one year after he had that surgery (yes, after the sample came back clear, because everyone seems to want me to clarify that), and there you go. 4 + 1 + 1 = 6. By the way, did you know statistics say that only 1-2 in every 1,000 men that have a vasectomy end up having it fail. 0.002%. Sheesh, I guess we were destined to be outliers. (Anecdotally, I think urologists are giving themselves a bit too much credit with that data because I actually know more than one person this has happened to and it feels like more than 0.002% to me, but that’s not what you asked.)

Anyway, you should meet this 6th miracle. He is almost two, and charming as all get out. He’s currently in a phase in which he loves to hit people with things like spatulas and then run away laughing, which is both hilarious and terrible, but it makes us all love him even more somehow. And the way his siblings care for him, the way his seven-year-old brother gets him out of bed in the morning to be helpful, the way his ten-year-old sister makes him bananas with peanut butter, the way he tries to keep up with his toddler siblings in all their games but mostly ruins them, it’s really the most delightful chaos you can imagine, all these “thats” running around.

Is it easy? Oh goodness, no. Parenting six kids is very hard work. And yes, very expensive. The making and cleaning up of so much food, the managing of so many schedules, the shepherding of so many little hearts. I am exhausted pretty much all the time. I regularly have people ask me a different question than you did (a more respectful one, you may want to it try next time): how do you do it? And I honestly don’t know. I just show up again the next day and make more food. But I try not to get too lost in the daily stress and noise–in the worries about paying for sports and car insurance and college and the guilt that my children will never go to Disneyland–and keep the long game in mind. We won’t always have six kids at home. But we will always have each other. Is there a better gift than that?

It may not have always been our plan, but like Jason Johnson says, “God’s sovereignty is our sanity” and we like knowing someone much bigger and smarter than us is in charge.

I don’t do this work perfectly, and I need a break from it often. But investing in my people? I cannot imagine spending my life any other way. 

I hope that answers your question about our little big family. Aren’t they awesome?

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Inspired by Lindsay Rush.