Revisionist History

Or, Lecture Notes

1. Before

   1. This is how I remember it:

      1. I got married in the same park I played at as a child.

      2. The one with the magical tree, whose trunk splayed thick, strong branches nearly horizontal to the ground, making them perfect for six-year-old barefoot girls to climb. It was my tree. 

      3. The park also had a creek where I caught tadpoles in mason jars with my two brothers.

      4. And a line of oak trees that dropped acorns to ground, thousands and thousands of acorns, keeping the ground full of them all year long.

         1. At least as a child, it felt like the ground was always covered in them. 

         2. I’m willing to concede that memories are imperfect.

      5. My mom would find acorns in the pockets of my jeans, my jackets, my tiny purses.

         1. I found acorns in an old jewelry box when I packed for college more than a decade later. 

         2. Dreams I planned to plant and grow someday.

      6. The wedding ceremony was right above the creek bed. My dad walked me across a bridge over this creek, then he gave me a hug and gave my future husband a hug and all I can remember is that I smiled at the man I was marrying—in the way a giddy child who cannot keep her body still because she is so excited smiles—the entire ceremony.

      7. During the reception, our photographer pulled us aside and said, the light is just perfect outside right now, follow me. She had us stand right in front of the tree my limbs knew by memory, the horizontal branch underlining the horizon. We kissed as the sun set behind us, spraying gorgeous golden beams into the picture of our new life.

         1. A perfect wedding photo.

         2. Honestly, I thought it was the most perfect wedding.

      8. During college my roommate and I would occasionally go to Barnes & Noble for bridal magazines. We’d bring them home to our condo and tear out any pages that caught our eye. I carefully stored dresses and color schemes and decorations I loved in plastic inserts in a green binder for years. I was so ready to be married. Or at least, have a wedding. I bought the fairytale. 

         1. I often have joked with friends that if we got married before Pinterest, we should get a do-over.

         2. Compared to Pinterest, my green binder was child’s play.

         3. Maybe my whole marriage was.